Naught But A Dream: Part 5
By: Erin Land
On the subject of Alzheimer’s: I know how emotionally stressful it can be to have a loved one have this disease. I dedicate this to my great grandmother Lodia Soberanis. May She Rest In Peace
Every dream was becoming more and more depressing for her. They reminded her of what she did not have anymore.
She was sitting on a wooden bench overlooking a lake. She was wrapped up in comfy woolen clothes, a red scarf, green jumper, blue gloves, heavy black jeans and thick boots. Her hair now streaked with grey, even in her dreams. Worn lines of laughter and sorrow piqued out from the corner from her eyes and mouth. Snow was covering the ground but the lake was still flowing, as if in mid summer. She stared out at the gently running water, the mini waves made from an unknown source splashing gently at the rocky shore.
She was unaware of the tall dark haired man sitting next to her. Her face was emotionless as she stared out. His movement was what brought her out of her reverie. She looked at him briefly, taking in his handsome features, his strong build and straight hair, what caught her eye most were his pointed ears. She shook her head and muttered.
“Got to talk the kid into watching something else at night.”
“Pardon?” his voice rumbled, age and strength.
She looked amused for a moment, amused because she was actually jealous of a dream figure. She could tell he was old, but he was so damn good looking for whatever age he was, she almost felt sick.
“My grandson, always watches one particular movie before going to bed. He makes me watch it with him.”
“Never mind, I don’t feel like explaining right now.”
She sat in silence, feeling his grey-eyed gaze on her. She didn’t care.
“I’m slipping away, slowly. I can’t do a damn thing to stop it.”
“You seem in perfect health to me.” He commented.
“Only in my dreams, and on rare occasions. I barely recognize my own family anymore. It’s like some one wrote my precious memories on paper and threw them in to a fire. In moments of clarity I realize that I don’t know my precious boy. My little Ezra. My baby. He is my heart and I don’t know who he is. It pains me, it pains his mother. He is too small to realize what is going on. I’ll be gone before he knows and all his memory of me will be is me asking who he is every time I see him. I hate it. Makes me wish I just die than go thru this everyday.” Tears were running freely down her face.
“How can that be possible?” he was horrified by her words.
“I don’t know, it runs in my family. I remember growing up, my great grandmother had it. Every time my father and I came over to visit she asks who we are. It made me cry every time and now it’s happening to me. I feel helpless.”
“At least you were able to have a family, I died before I could. Died fighting so others could have a peaceful place to raise their own family. I don’t mind not being wed, but the little ones!” He gave a mirthless laugh. “I would rather skip the wife and have little ones of my own. I was always told I was odd.”
“Not odd, flamboyant. It’s allowed for people who are old enough. At least you had somewhat of a choice of life and death.”
“I suppose so.” He brought his arm around her shoulders and pulled her so she was leaning on him.
“I hate being old.”
“With age comes wisdom.”
“Not when you don’t remember the wisdom. Let’s talk about something else.”
“You remind me of someone. I can’t quite place it.” He was looking at her closely, she was staring back.
“Stare harder, maybe you’ll be able to see thru my head.” She glared.
He chuckled and kissed her forehead. She sighed and scooted closer to him, becoming more at peace with every passing moment with this strong spirited person. Soon her own arms were going around him, longing to stay in his embrace for a bit longer.
“I would take you to Valinor if I could. You would be healed there. Your memories would return to you and you would live in nothing but bliss, joy and contentment. You could stay with me for eternity.” He said to her.
“I’d be happy with just my memories. With clarity. I could share old family recipes with my grandchildren, share the tales of our family. Tell them of who they descend from, who they are. Tell them to be proud, and never believe what others would say about them. The only person you can trust to believe in them is them. I would tell them that I love them every day. Man! I’m crying again.” She shot him a glare.
He bent down and gave her a gentle kiss. If filled her with peace and she stopped crying. She brought her legs up and curled them under her and leaned into his warmth.
“This is not the time for despair, Sweet. I will not allow you to. We will speak of other things. Do you enjoy the water?” he asked her.
He managed to distract her with talk of many things, she felt they spoke for hours. They held each other after, each gaining respect for the other.
“I want to thank you, for being here.” She said to him.
“I was going to tell you the same.” He smiled down at her.
“I may never come back, just to let you know. My time is ending. Even with all that is happening to me, I know it. I feel like I’m being called home. Maybe then I’ll be completely at peace.”
“I may meet you there. After all I am dead.” They smiled at each other, but the sadness crept back into her eyes.
She was gone. And he was left sitting alone. He bent forward resting his elbows on his knees and held his head in his hands. Being with her in her time of despair nearly caused him to cry out in despair as well. His heart hurt with every confession she made.
He woke with, tears clouding his vision for a moment, he blinked them away, the pain in his heart remained. He rose and dressed in his best robes and put the elaborate Mithril crown upon his head. Head held high he strode to the Council of the Valar to discuss the dream maiden. He would be sure that she will come to Valinor, and that he would heal her. Gil-Galad would be sure of it, even if it killed him. Again.
End Part 5